I still keep this blog alive in hopes that you might perhaps one day find me. You always used to, every single time I changed my URL or deleted and recreated a blog, or switched domains. I never knew how; I always thought you must have been able to read my mind.
Thinking now, I realise that wasn’t the only thing about you I didn’t know. I wanted so much more with you and our time was too short. There will be others who leave their mark, but never the same way or place you left yours. Nobody ever has and nobody ever will capture my heart the way you did. None of what I write here now is new, but on long nights such as this with only the voices in my head for company, you are the first apparition to materialize.
And even as someone new takes center stage and becomes the basis for how I lead my life, I find I am still unable to leave your ghost behind. I’m still not used to the idea that you’re no longer here.